Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We are two peas in an std pod
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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