Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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