so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
