I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
