you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
