I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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