Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
