im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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