# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
