i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize