She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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