I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize