i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
