You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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