false alarm. still invincible.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize