dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
