Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
