I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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