He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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