I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
