Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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