when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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