Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
