i need an iv and a liver transplant
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
