I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
