i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Randomize
