i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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