she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
