yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"