I think im going to throw up on grandma
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA