i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed