Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.