i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
