The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
