Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're a waste of cheezeits
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
