I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
