i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
