no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions