I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude