Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
