I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
