i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
