you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
