Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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