If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
