Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I need to calm my uterus...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
