There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
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third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
and you fell through a lawn chair
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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