capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
