absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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