just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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