every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Every concussion has its silver lining
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
