i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
