Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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