Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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