:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
