don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
