Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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