I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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