i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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