dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
