Already got asked if we're dating
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize