did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
