oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
