"it" just moved
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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