if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
