hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
