So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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