I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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