Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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